Wall Street, New York City. Special to The Spoof. Freedom University, located on Wall Street and dedicated to the furtherance of Capitalism, announced today that, at graduation ceremonies in early June, President Donald J. Trump will be awarded an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters.
The citation accompanying the doctorate reads in part: "As President of the United States, Capitalist, Promoter, Builder or Operator of Towers and Casinos, and Champion of The People, especially the Common Man, you have provided extraordinary leadership, distinguished by your Tweets, which show a deep sense of humane concern for the health, welfare and future of a multitude of immigrants and asylum seekers, especially the children.
"In your use of the Tweet to savage your enemies and to arouse your base, you have elevated this form of Letters to a level of literature equaled only by the works of Chaucer, Rabelais... and Balzac.
"Through your Tweets, you have given the World a glimpse of what this Nation will become when you urge The People to Make America great Again.
"We are humbled by your accomplishments, inspired by your Tweets, and honored to name you Doctor of Humane Letters."