Denver, Colorado - Fox News Personality Tucker Carlson, in trouble at the Network for numerous past incidents of making degrading comments about women, minorities, gays and Muslims, has been hired by the creators of South Park to replace Eric Cartman, who recently left the cartoon series.
Hiring Carlson, according to an unnamed source associated with the show, was a "no brainer". "He's obnoxious, repeats ridiculous reasoning and opinions, uses faulty logic to make his point, and has the same dumb confused look as Cartman did," claimed the series insider. "We will just need to edit out his misogynistic, xenophobic comments before airing the shows."
Cartman recently left the show after realizing he was 40 years old and still playing an elementary school character.