Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Wednesday, 20 March 2019

image for Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College
Beto O'Rourke and Elizabeth Warren

Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of the incident.

"She should have known she was only a few percent Indian, just look at her! She's got blonde hair and blue eyes," said one church-going Republican interviewed after the announcement of her DNA test.

This week, another revelation of bad behavior came to light, when reports indicated that Beto O'Rourke, another Democrat hopeful, had attempted to slip under a fence with some college buddies onto University of Texas El Paso grounds, and was thus arrested for attempted burglary, charges that were later dropped. O'Rourke admitted to the misdeed during his run for the Texas Senate last year.

"It is obvious from these stories that it is not possible for a Democrat to be a Christian", explained televangelist and Trump supporter Franklin Graham.

Tweeted the Republican 2020 candidate and evangelical favorite: "I would have told Beto to deny everything, just like I told Judge Kavanaugh, Michael Cohen, Stormy Daniels, General Flynn and Paul Manafort. Denying it sets you free, as it says in Two Corinthians".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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