Forget Tax Returns, Find Trump’s School Grades And SAT Scores

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 2 March 2019

image for Forget Tax Returns, Find Trump’s School Grades And SAT Scores
"Not my school records. They're part of the Witness Protection Act."

While the press and Congress, (Democratic) have been demanding copies of Tump’s tax returns and financial records, nosey Spoof writers are more interested in Trump’s school grades while at grammar school, high school, and at both Fordham and Wharton.

His tax returns would reveal his business acumen or fraud, but school records and SAT scores would answer several questions including how Trump managed to graduate from an accredited university and remain unable to know when to use hear or here.

While goofing on tax returns is criminal, and could result in jail time, a school transcript with a series of failures could clear how this nation has reached this unbelievable/impossible place, at this point in time.

School transcripts would serve as a kind of Rosetta Stone.

There are rumors that Jared Kushner’s father paid $3 million to get Jared into Harvard. Did Trump pay $3 million to get out of Wharton? Or did he just rent a cap and gown from the Halloween Costume Shop on 4th Avenue, hold a rolled-up menu as a degree, and have a street photographer take his photo?

Journalists are searching to discover whether there’s a yearbook stashed somewhere in a storage box with a photograph of Trump sitting in a lecture hall. No one wants to see a photo of Trump attempting a Michael Jackson moonwalk, but just holding a book while on campus?

A college transcript would answer more questions than tax returns. Trump will probably insist his college transcripts are being audited. Or that they’re held under the Government Secrecy Act. Well, yes, he could. Any term papers around written by Trump? According to Michael Cohen’s testimony, Trump threatened to sue anyone who revealed his grades, transcripts or SAT scores.

Sound suspicious?

Trump insisted on seeing Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Taxpayers should have a similar right to see Trump’s school grades and SAT scores, as well as any psychiatric evaluations.

What?

Certainly, it should be a requirement for anyone holding the nuclear codes.

A Nostradamus factor isn’t possible. However, it’s a pretty sure bet, that Trump was not an A student.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more