Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 1 December 2018

image for Uncle Sam is Nutmeg’s $$$$ Party Pooper
Queen Mother’s Hellfire Tiara also in the frame

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Enforcers at the IRS foreign scams division have whacked Harry’s self-styled Princess Nutmeg with a $25m tax bill following a valuation of freebies milked from the British state.

The move means the US Z-Lister actress has had to scupper gargantuan aspirations to a 25-bed Kensington Palace grace and favor apartment.

And ‘make do’ with a ‘pokey 5-bedder’ near Windsor’s Plonkers Gate.

“Newly-wed gold digger Nutmeg is utterly heartbroken,” Uncle Sam’s spokesman said at a Spoof Writers Conference, “at being thwarted in her historic condominium take-over.”

Experts say an annual US tax charge of $10m is likely to be the IRS’s opening bid for the royal accommodation and state-bankrolled security.

And that’s before a similar levy for use of royal family baubles, including the late Queen Mother’s notorious Hellfire Tiara which she wore to seduce Hitler’s Pope in 1939.

Commenting on the reports a Palace flunkey poo-pooed the whole idea and insisted a falling out with other royal scroungers ‘like Kate and William’ was actually behind Meg flouncing off from Kensington Palace:

“The whole story’s bollox,” he said in an official statement.

However up to fifty prospective wet nurses, nannies, housekeepers, cooks, chauffeurs, butlers, valets and ass-orted arse-wipers are now job hunting following the tragedy.

And Baby Nutmeg’s spawning remains up in the heir.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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