Written by joseph k winter

Friday, 18 January 2019

image for Trump shuts down White House; moves to Motel 6 to emphasize emergency
Residents at Mr. Trump's Motel 6 (now on monthly rates) pleased to have him as a neighbor

Following his cancellation of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s trip abroad, Mr. Trump has decided the White House is too expensive to maintain, and closed it.

White House workers are on furlough for the indefinite future, along with the other 800,000 federal workers affected by the government shutdown.

Additional government service shutdowns are causing slowdowns and confusion, as well as affecting some food stamp users.

Many more of the 42 million dependent on food stamps could be affected soon.

“Beautiful!" Mr. Trump has said. "These folks are willing to go without food, showing their support for my wall and this emergency!”

A random polling of these persons with no food stamp processing and no food, has brought low enthusiasm, however.

Plus this ambiguous response:

“Let him eat cake,” one of them anonymously responded. “After it passes directly through my intestinal system.”

On the other hand, Mr. Trump saw no inconsistency in Melania flying to Florida at a cost of 3-plus million (security expenses added).

“That’s another thing,” he said, without mentioning what this other thing was.

“We need to have some responsibility around here in holding up this funding for the wall, and keeping the government shutdown alive.”

“But, sir—” a WaPo reporter attempting a question, received:

“After all, it’s not my fault, is it? I’m getting a lot of flak here on this, but let me repeat it’s not my fault.”

“But, sir—”

“And if people like Tinkle-head Pelosi won’t cooperate and take responsibility in this time of national emergency, with all the rapists and criminals and terrorists swarming across the border—well, like I said, it’s not my fault.”

“But, sir—”

“Enough out of you. Don’t be rude.”

Mr. Trump then retired to a Motel 6 down the road from The White House, with continental breakfast of doughnuts, soup crackers, and Folgers coffee, as a gesture of humility and responsibility.

“This place costs a whole lot less, believe me, than keeping the White House going.”

And:

“I think next we can shut down the Congress entirely, and send them home, along with Nancy, as with the national parks and such.”

“I mean, why do we need a government at all under these circumstances? Why not slow things down, or just have a complete stop? Much cheaper!”

“Except for me, of course. I need to keep watch on things here in this Motel 6, and report to The American People.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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