Hacker leaks Bolton in front of his bathroom mirror addressing himself as “Mr. President”

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

image for Hacker leaks Bolton in front of his bathroom mirror addressing himself as “Mr. President”
"Look, I was in real estate and showbiz, not politics. So, give me a break."

The hacker group Dark Overbored has come forward with leaks of new details on the Trump presidency.

The suspicion that the presidency has secretly changed hands from Mr. Trump to Mr. Bolton is bolstered by these leaks.

At issue specifically is Syria. Is the US getting out of Syria (Trump) or staying (Bolton)?

In December, Mr. Trump announced the US is done in Syria, and getting out pronto, leading to the resignations of General Mattis and envoy Brett McGurk.

Yesterday, Mr. Bolton said the US will stay in Syria until Iran withdraws, and Turkey guarantees the safety of the Kurds.

Or until hell freezes over.

Turkey’s Mr. Erdogan then responded with a long blistering diatribe that Mr. Bolton is horribly in error and understands nothing.

Mr. Trump was found yawning on the staircase leading down from his White House bedroom.

Back in December Mr. Erdogan asked why the US was still in Syria, given that IS is defeated.

Mr. Trump responded: “We’re outta there.”

However, the hacker group Dark Overbored now reveals intimate details from Mr. Bolton’s bathroom mirror at the medicine cabinet.

“Look, Mr. President,” he has been caught saying (via tiny surveillance cameras) and obviously addressing himself.

“It’s time to come out and let the Nation know who really is in charge of this administration.”

You, John, I’m referring to you, that is myself—you are the guiding hand here, the power behind the throne at this time.”

“Only you know what you are doing, as always, in supporting Israel, war, more war, and further war wherever possible.”

“Count on it. Come Mr. Trump’s resignation or impeachment you will be the man in the spotlight coming forward to say . . .”

“Look, I’m experienced! I’ve been doing this for years now! Why do you think The Ditherer appointed me in the first place! And do you know what he said?”

“He said, ‘I need help, John, to help me sort out what I’m doing and how to give the impression I know what I’m doing’.”

“So you see, fortunately he had me on board, always at his side, glowing and confident, to set him straight!”

“And the Nation will respond: ‘Thank you, The Real Mr. President!’”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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