Trump Calls Mueller A "Smelly Imitation Lawyer"

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

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BILLINGSGATE POST: In a previous news story, the repulsive character, Flyface, was introduced as Robert Mueller's alter-ego. Unsure of whether Mueller (Flyface) will call for his impeachment when he finally winds up his report, the frustrated Trump called out the former FBI Director as a "smelly imitation lawyer" in an early morning tweet.

Trump is not the only one who found Flyface distasteful. A member of Willie the Fifth's gang, Olive, was the first to call Flyface a "smelly imitation lawyer." Olive objected to his odor and dirty clothes. She kept spraying bug spray at the flies hovering around Flyface's head. Willie the Fifth, who had mixed feelings about his consigliere, sent Flyface out to get a change of clothes to appease Olive.

In the original Dick Tracy episode, from which this analog is taken, things got out of control. When Tracy and the police raided Fifth's hangout, they all surrendered and went to jail. Flyface demanded to have his law books given to him to read. Flyface set fire to the pages of the books and, because the pages were soaked in nitric oxide, the fumes killed two guards. But Flyface and Fifth, with cigarette filters in their nostrils, feigned unconsciousness. When they saw their chance, they disguised themselves as firemen and escaped from the jail.

None of this story would make sense if Robert Mueller and Flyface didn't share certain commonalities; e.g., both attract flies, wear Bug Zappers around their neck, and neither like to be called, "Flyface."

NOTE: My apologies to Chester Gould, Flyface, Olive, Willie the Fifth and Dick Tracy, for using this material to depict a truly odoriferous character.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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