President Donald Trump has spoken to the nation declaring in no uncertain terms, that America is great again!
Trump, speaking after having gorged himself on a rather large and splendid turkey dinner at the White House, told viewers in a televised address that, despite one or two "ongoing situations", the country has stabilized under his rule, and is now making giant strides forward.
No mention was made of Jamal Khashoggi.
Or of the migrant caravan currently in Mexico.
Or of the border wall he intends to build.
Or of the Judge Kavanaugh fiasco.
Or of the Rod Rosenstein affair.
Or of election-rigging.
Or of Robert Mueller and Russian-collusion.
Or of Haiti being "a terrible place" (not Trump's actual words).
Or of "where to grab a woman".
Or of Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal.
Or of Michael Cohen.
Or of Bob Woodward and his damned book.
Or of self-enrichment, failing to disclose information, or violating ethics.
Or of being the most scandal-ridden US president in history.
Trump told the viewers that:
"The Dow Jones is up. America is great again!"