With Stormy Daniels’ impending victory over the Evil Orange (sounds like a new Marvel movie! Or at least a comic book with a limited run) … other porn stars are getting off their backs and standing up to fight other assholes in their industry and oth…
Today a 55 year old grandmother from Kayk has married her favourite tin of meat today at a local branch of Aldi, to her amazement the tin in question said yes without hesitation. A tearful Marjorie Bagg said, “I feel overjoyed that I was able to…
Weirdo News: Lab-grown human vagina lips will soon be available in restaurants in Singapore after the country became the first to green-light meat created without slaughtering any animals. Lab-grown human vagina meat to go on sale in Singapore in…
It was a real blue ribbon event in one household today, when a man who had been kept 'cooped-up' by his wife for four months due to Coronavirus worries, was finally allowed 'off the leash', for a trip to the local market. Moys Kenwood, 57, had bee…
DETROIT – The beef shortage has already caused the price of beef to shoot through the roof. One customer at a Wendy’s in Detroit, ordered the Baconator burger. And when he opened his container box, he noticed that the two meats were both the si...
A notorious Carlisle steak thief has finally being apprehended after police used “baited meat” to lure him into a Londis in rural Cumbria. Thief, David Pattison, who looks like the back of a spoon had a baby with the Goblin King from Labyrinth, was...
(Birmingham, Alabama) As the Coronavirus continues to keep the country in a virtual lockdown state, many US businesses have had to shutter and weather the storm. For some, it can be a simple closing of a small shop or hair salon, but for others, it i...
Amidst the panic of coronavirus, the origins of which can be traced to a species of bat commonly eaten in China, a new study from the Make America Meat Again think tank in Raleigh, North Carolina, shows that most Americans prefer the prospect of inde...
In addition to offering turkey bacon and bran muffins with margarine, the "heart-healthy" breakfast offered by Nashville law firm, Miles Best LLP, spotlighted lowfat yogurt. "Nonfat can make people feel deprived, which is not sustainable," said Hu…
For those eager to complement their burgers, ketchup or barbecue sauce may be a safer bet than pomegranate, suggests a new study by the Meat in the Middle Foundation. According to the MIMF report, ground beef that was infused with pomegranate juic...
Montana farmer Kevin Johannesen, who prides himself on his ethically-sourced meat, has found that his free-range, pasture-raised pork chops do not do well in direct sunlight. "We thought that the direct light would be good for boosting vitamin D...
After ingesting a plate of overcooked veal parmesan at a corporate dinner event in a dimlit downtown steakhouse, Joshua Hicks of Nashville, Tennessee, glanced up at the mirrored wall to make sure he didn't have any tomato sauce on his white shirt, on...
Recognizing that cows, chickens, pigs, and other farmed animals are flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline in the moments of anticipation prior to their brutal slaughterhouse death, making their flesh that much unhealthier for huma...
Illinois farmer Jake ("Boss") Hogg was out walking his dogs early Monday morning, when he made a startling discovery. "It was awful quiet in the paddock. I couldn't see my hogs anywhere, so I walked the dogs around the perimeter of the fence.
If you're like many protein-avid Americans, who've been longing for a cruelty-free way of eating that doesn't come saddled with the myriad health benefits associated with typical vegan diets, cultured or "clean" meat could be just the ticket. "For...
While neoconservatives initially applauded President Donald Trump's new "public charge" rule, tying green card eligibility to immigrants' financial resources and education levels, they were dismayed to subsequently realize that the new law means that...
At a recent workplace luncheon, Ellen Harding of Charleston, South Carolina, lambasted her colleagues for their hypocrisy in chowing down on hot chicken and burgers while insisting how much they loved their pets. An omnivore herself, Ellen claimed th...
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