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Funny satire stories about Meat

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Funny story: Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

"Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I don't care about animals," said Josh Driscoll of Nashville, Tennessee. "I hate when people stereotype me just because I enjoy a good steak. Vegans are so judgmental." Driscoll went on to explain that every t...

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Funny story: Trump Acknowledges that Veganism Is a Social Justice Issue but Explains that He's Not Really Into Social Justice

Trump Acknowledges that Veganism Is a Social Justice Issue but Explains that He's Not Really Into Social Justice

Noting that the current American food system inherently relies on the torture and exploitation of living, sentient beings in order to supply Americans' meat-heavy diet, U.S. President Donald Trump acknowledged that veganism is a social justice issue,...

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Funny story: Open-Minded Boyfriend Supports Girlfriend in Her Vegan Hobby

Open-Minded Boyfriend Supports Girlfriend in Her Vegan Hobby

In order to support his vegan girlfriend, Kayla Meadows, in her hobbies, Nick Canto attended a plant-based nutrition conference with Kayla, tolerantly setting aside that, while Kayla seeks to live a life of non-violence in every respect, including wh...

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Funny story: Nashville Pig Declines to Be Featured in BBQ Restaurant Logo

Nashville Pig Declines to Be Featured in BBQ Restaurant Logo

A pig named Pete made waves recently when he declined a potentially lucrative opportunity to be featured in the logo for Nashville hot spot Happy Hog BBQ, despite admittedly not having an alternative source of income. Pete was reportedly immune to...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Prays Over Thanksgiving Turkey and Reflects that Karma’s a Bitch

Nashville Woman Prays Over Thanksgiving Turkey and Reflects that Karma’s a Bitch

In gratitude for the Thanksgiving Day feast prepared by her mother and extended family, Carrie Grace Martin of Nashville, Tennessee, bowed her head in prayer, thanked the centerpiece stuffed turkey for his/her sacrifice, and reflected to herself that...

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Funny story: Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers

Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers

A sensational revolution is occurring in the burger world! Real, fresh meat is to replace the reconstituted crap normally on offer. Several burger kings were about to be declared veggies because basically there is no real meat in their crap anyway...

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Funny story: Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer's landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have...

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Funny story: "Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

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Funny story: Brazil leads world in persuading it to become vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

Brazil leads world in persuading it to become vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

The Brazilian government have decided to jump on the vegan / vegetarian bandwagon by forcing it's meat producers to flog rotting meat to the rest of the world! Brazilian meat companies are earning mega-bucks by exporting rotting carcasses because...

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Funny story: Tarantino's "Blood'nGore Restaurants" to Open Soon

Tarantino's "Blood'nGore Restaurants" to Open Soon

Movie mogul Quentin Tarantino with a consortium of business friends has purchased a chain of abattoirs across Los Angeles. The abattoirs will still function as abattoirs but will now incorporate restaurants and special seating arrangements where clie...

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Funny story: Should We Eat Animals That Piss Us Off? Dolphin 'Smack Chatter' Reopens The Debate

Should We Eat Animals That Piss Us Off? Dolphin 'Smack Chatter' Reopens The Debate

We have come to think of dolphins as intelligent mammals; the sages of the sea, who have even been known to save a human or two caught in troubled waters. That status is now under review following groundbreaking research about to be published by The...

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Funny story: Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

A recent "virulent" rant by Cenk Uygur has gone "viral" on Youtube... Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn't it? Anyways, have a look at this transcript. Responses on a snail-card please. Well, yeah, why not? After all highly eloquent and intellectually satisfying responses from Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin have already appeared... So don't be last in the race to the bottom. Still, wh...

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Funny story: Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

A new study by the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF), a nonprofit "nutrition" organization with close ties to the meat industry, blames hot yoga for global warming. The WAPF report has created a lot of additional heat for Bikram Yoga founder Bikr...

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Funny story: Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

A new study by the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF), a nonprofit "nutrition" organization with close ties to the meat industry, blames "hot yoga" for global warming. The WAPF report has created a lot of additional heat for Bikram Yoga founder Bi...

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Funny story: Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Los Angeles, CA (STT News) - People of the world - learn to like bugs. That's the message recently released by Dr. Falter O. Longer, director of the USC's Elitist Longevity Institute. The study by the institute states clearly that things like meat,...

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Funny story: India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

NEW DELHI, India - The country of India, like most of the world's countries, has been going through a tough time economically. The Taj Mahal National News Agency has just announced some shocking news coming out of the nation's capital of New Delhi...

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Funny story: A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Waterloo Zottbergen has been growing cabbage for the past 29 years and in that time he has made a very good living out of it. But he recently discovered a way to grow cabbage that tastes exactly like a filet mignon steak. Zo...

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