Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 8 November 2018

image for Trump Fires Jeff Sessions, But Man Panics Because He Doesn't Know Who Jeff Sessions Is
When I entered 'Sessions' in the image search, this is what it came up with

The news exploding out of Capitol Hill this morning, is that President Donald Trump has fired Jeff Sessions, whilst, somewhat less controversial news coming out of the Battambang area is that one man living there hasn't got a fucking clue who Jeff Sessions is.

Moys Kenwood, 55, said:

"Jeff Sessions, Google has since informed me, was the US Attorney General, whatever that means, before he was so unceremoniously ousted by President Trump, just after his breakfast today. Prior to googling, I had no earthly notion of who Jeff was. He could have been a pizza delivery man for all I knew, or Trump's butler, or a rent boy."

In the headline, it says "Panics", but, in fact, there was no real panic, as I should now explain:

"I was in search of a catchy, attention-grabbing headline, one that would draw potential readers in, and make them click on the story, and "panics" was the first word that came into my mind. Sorry if you were misled."

In his customary fashion, President Trump tweeted:

"We thank Attorney General Jeff Sessions for his service, and wish him well!"

Clearly, he didn't mean this, however, because you don't kick someone out of a job because they were going to expose your corruption to the world, and then wish them well.

Trump has now replaced that Sessions bloke with one called Matthew Whitaker, who is a bit more sympathetic to his corrupt way of doing things.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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