Written by Paxton Quigley

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

image for US Mid-Term Elections: Trump Hails "Biggest Win Ever, Massivest Win Ever"
"Whaddya mean, the Democrats won the House? Fake Nooz!"

So-called US President Donald J Trump has claimed that it was all down to him that Republican candidates had made a clean sweep in winning all senate, house and governor elections.

In an early morning tweet Mr Trump claimed credit for his campaigning which energised normally disinterested voters, who came out in their droves, saying "It's all down to me. I did a grate job. The BIGEST MASSIVEST WIN EVER FOR THE GOP. Democrats losed out terribly. Hostile Media, Col. Sanders and Pocahontus eat dirt!!!!"

At a midday Washington press conference, the weary, frazzled and frankly pissed-off White House press corps confronted the president on his statement that the elections were a win for the Republican party and insisted that, despite his claim to the contrary, the Democrats had won the House of Representatives. The president responded as only he can, pointing and shouting at each of his critics in turn:

"You CNN, you Washington Post, you New York Times, FAKE NEWS. Just come to the House tomorrow and you'll see NOTHING HAS CHANGED."

When it was pointed out that the new members of the House will not be taking up their seats until two months' time, the president stormed off, continuing to shout abuse.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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