Before John McCain became too ill for much physical activity he had a 3-D image of his spine created that could then be duplicated with 3-D printers, using medical plastics accepted by the human body. John McCain's deal? He will allow any of the spineless bastards in Congress to have his spine, if they agree to cease being such spineless wonders.
"John was flabbergasted by the lack of bi-partisanship," said one of his former congressional aids, "This will allow those who have so far not shown any sign of having a spine, to purchase one and have it installed."
"I don't know if some of them know what they are gettin' into if they get an actual spine," said a hot dog stand operator on the Washington D.C. Mall, "Might haf 'ta actually say something intelligent."