Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 8 August 2018

image for Bird Shit On Man's Head 2
It could've been worse!

In what many people might think is a 'sequel' to a similar incident in May, when a bird shit on a man's head, another bird has shit on another man's head - with a slight difference!

Tony Rosetti, an unemployed laborer of New Jersey, turned up at his local bar last Friday penniless - that is to say, with no pennies - and proceeded to 'bum drinks' off his obliging friends.

Amongst his circle of friends was Tina Heron, a factory worker who had been paid that very evening. Tina was a bit of a slapper, and Tony was vaguely interested in being 'slapped' - she stood him some liquor after he promised to 'pay her back later'.

After the pair had broken some drinking records, they left together, and went back to Tony's grotty apartment for some 'recreation'. Tina took one look at this almighty shithole, and realized the 'loan' she had made, was going to turn out to be a 'gift'. She sighed, and the pair indulged in 'slappage'.

Around 10:30am next morning, Tony awoke with a stinging headache, and a stinking head. Tina was nowhere to be seen. Tony staggered to the broken bathroom mirror to take stock of the situation, and understood immediately. Across his forehead, along the line of his eyebrows, was a dirty, great skidmark, with an already-hardened dollop of turd at one end. Tina, angry at having funded this waster's Friday night binge out of her paycheck, had delivered a payload as payback.

Without further ado, Tony put his baseball cap on, and went down to the coffee shop on the corner, to see if he could bum some breakfast.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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