National Rifle Association Is Shooting Blanks

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 5 August 2018

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"Yes, Russia hacked into the election."

Great Scott! The NRA is in a financial crisis? If they need money, why not use their products, march into any bank and make a crisis-eliminating withdrawal?

And, if the NRA does go under and have a funeral, Donald Trump Jr. should be a pallbearer. Besides conspiring with Russia to undermine a US election to get his daddy elected, Donald Jr. kills elephants and giraffes in Africa. Sad!

There is nothing like a little man with a big gun. Makes them look almost standard size, and they don’t have to bounce when they walk.

Wayne LaPierre is draped in a black shroud. Aside from his double-speak of the English language when defending the value of guns, what was the last living creature LaPierre killed?

Sarah Palin reportedly shot wolves from a helicopter. Like the Grim Reaper, she also had a bearskin covering her sofa.

That great rifle man, former Vice President Dick Cheney, shot a friend in the face while hunting for ducks. Donald Duck accused Dick of being sloshed. Dick said he wasn't sloshed. The Duck wasn't convinced. Dick claimed all he had were a couple of Cokes. Bad advertisement for Coke. But a warning for Cheney's hunting buddies.

Students and parents won’t be raising money to save the NRA. Neither will attendees who frequent theaters or concerts.

The NRA says: Guns don’t kill, people kill. What about the mentally disturbed? The NRA says the Constitution allows people to bear arms. Those were muskets, but should someone barking at the moon or looking straight into the sun have a gun?

Many don't care that the NRA is in a financial crisis. Others say it is such a tragic loss. Sad! Let’s send our prayers and thoughts to the NRA. And please, a moment of silence...

Well, that's over.

Donald Trump doesn’t use guns to kill. He’s proudly killing democracy signing one executive order after the next. And the Republican House and Senate are complicit.

No invasion, bombs or bullets were necessary. Putin tipped the election scale and took over the US without firing a shot.

Another moment of silence...

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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