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Funny satire stories about blood

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Funny story: Man Had Blood Test

Man Had Blood Test

A man who woke up one morning last week with a nasty rash on his stomach, his upper arms and upper legs - but not his testicles - has finally decided to do something about it, after four days of constant itching and scratching himself into a frenzy.

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Funny story: Man Had Unpleasant Experience At Market

Man Had Unpleasant Experience At Market

It was a real blue ribbon event in one household today, when a man who had been kept 'cooped-up' by his wife for four months due to Coronavirus worries, was finally allowed 'off the leash', for a trip to the local market. Moys Kenwood, 57, had bee…

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Funny story: The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...

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Funny story: Man Cut Finger On Door Latch, And Almost Bled To Death

Man Cut Finger On Door Latch, And Almost Bled To Death

A teacher in a hurry to urinate was left ruing his decision to stop and lock a toilet door today, after he cut his finger on the metal latch, and almost bled to death. Moys Kenwood, 55, was, aside from two receptionists who were working at the fro...

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Funny story: Woman's Nosebleed Wouldn't Stop

Woman's Nosebleed Wouldn't Stop

Have you ever had a nosebleed that, no matter what arresting action you took, the darned thing just would not seem to stop bleeding? Well, that was exactly the situation being faced by one Los Angeles woman called Janet Farmer this week after she...

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Funny story: Blood Money? Joe Rogan Begins Selling His Blood to Nutrition Supplement Company GNC

Blood Money? Joe Rogan Begins Selling His Blood to Nutrition Supplement Company GNC

Stand-up comedian and podcast host Joe Rogan recently began selling his own blood – not because he's fallen on hard times, but as part of a new and highly profitable partnership with nutrition supplement company GNC. The joint venture with GNC see...

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Funny story: Man Shot By Cop, Cuffed Then Fined $100

Man Shot By Cop, Cuffed Then Fined $100

A case that is just one among a number that caused Eric Holder, the US attorney general, to sharply censure the, let's call it, the Cleavageland police department this week, is one where a "John Doe," who is a black man was shot in the chest by a pol...

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Funny story: Sir Paul McCartney on David Crosby Needing Another Liver

Sir Paul McCartney on David Crosby Needing Another Liver

When asked about Crosby, Stills & Nash singer David Crosby, Sir Paul McCartney had a few choice words with some reporters, after he was told that David Crosby needed another liver. "My goodness. How many livers is he taking away from other peo...

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Funny story: Duck Dynasty Preacher Admits He's Not A Healer But Can Rid You of Warts

Duck Dynasty Preacher Admits He's Not A Healer But Can Rid You of Warts

Even though he can heal warts in most cases, he still says that he cannot heal people of serious health problems. "Oh I do a few things to help the sick, especially praying to the One who can heal them. But every one of you can do that. You don't...

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Funny story: A List of 10 Vampire Movies To Be Released This Summer

A List of 10 Vampire Movies To Be Released This Summer

Paragovo Gabskigrad of Sofia, Bulgaria is considered to be the world's foremost expert on vampires. He wrote in his most recent book titled 7,001 Amazingly Amazing Facts About Vampires that vampires have been around ever since September of 1047. Gabskigrad noted that 865 years later in 1912, the first vampire movie was filmed. The motion picture was shot in Great Britain and the title w...

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Funny story: Serial Rater Goes On Bloody One-Star Rampage

Serial Rater Goes On Bloody One-Star Rampage

SAINT PAUL, MN--In what police have described as "a complete waste of our time," local spoof writer Greg Johnson has reportedly gone on a blood-filled, one-starring rampage, leaving an estimated 17 articles in his wake. "We have no idea why he did...

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Funny story: Vampire Dairies Shut Down - Lobov And Winkelholder Devastated

Vampire Dairies Shut Down - Lobov And Winkelholder Devastated

Hereford based dairy produce manufacturers, Vampire Dairies, have been shut down by their co-owners, Nina Lobov and Damian Winkelholder, following a dramatic downturn in turnover. "It was regrettable, but we had to take drastic action," Winkelhold...

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Funny story: Royal Blood Isn't Blue, It's Green

Royal Blood Isn't Blue, It's Green

USofA - Even though the findings will come as no surprise to anyone, especially not to Americans, scientists have officially confirmed that so-called "blue blood" is green in color. "The green color comes from humongous amounts of ill-gotten mo...

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Funny story: Blood Test Fast Sends Spoof Writer Over The Edge

Blood Test Fast Sends Spoof Writer Over The Edge

Fasting for nearly 16 hours before a blood test sent a Spoof correspondent on a high street food-grabbing spree before he was arrested by police yesterday. Head of EIF News & Features Ellis Ian Fields was scheduled for his annual blood test at...

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Funny story: Tourist mutilated on the moors - chum survives

Tourist mutilated on the moors - chum survives

It's just emerged that two young American student/tourists have been attacked by a mysterious creature, on the moors. At night, in the dark. In a chillingly similar scenario to that depicted in the motion picture film An American Werewolf In Londo...

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Funny story: Lady Gaga Performs In Nottingham, England, Drenched In Fake Blood (Mostly)

Lady Gaga Performs In Nottingham, England, Drenched In Fake Blood (Mostly)

NOTTINGHAM, England - Lady Gaga brought her Monster's Ball Tour, or Monster Balls Tour depending on which side of the 'Big Pond' you're on to Robin Hood's old stomping ground. The Lady danced and pranced and promenaded left and right while dressed...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson asks about Blood

Robert Pattinson asks about Blood

After reading a story about a man who claims to have survived for 70 years eating nothing Robert Pattinson, is searching for answers as to whether there is any truth about vampires or people eating blood and could they survive on blood alone. Robe...

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