Teenage Protesters' Plot to Take Over NRA Revealed

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Sunday, 25 March 2018

Washington, D. C. - Not all the activity at the teenage march on Washington for "common sense" gun control was aimed at convincing legislators to enact tougher and effective laws that might prevent another Parkland tragedy. At high level, secret meetings, teenage leaders from around the country met in an office and hatched a plan to gain control of the National Rifle Association.

Details are sketchy, but the move is intended to neutralize the NRA, the force most likely to block any effort at gun regulation. With NRA membership at roughly 5 million, and with about 6 million high school students currently in their junior and senior years, the possibility of seizing control is great.

But the financial cost of such a move would be staggering. At $40 per head, dues for the five million memberships necessary to carry out the putsch would total $200 million. That alone should have killed the plot. Perennial left wing supporter George Skouras reportedly expressed interest in supplying the money, but insiders report that when told how much was needed, he declined.

With the take over still in motion, the NRA, in a tweet, suggests that the funding will come from Yevgeny Prigozhin, Russian President Vladimir Putin's "chef," who is known to have financed Russia's troll units, the agents who infiltrate foreign economies and elections.

Why would the Russian's finance an invasion of the NRA? "They want to disarm the American citizenry," the rifle association said in a press release. "The film Red Dawn depicted how private American citizens, well armed with assault rifles, destroyed a Russian invasion. Putin wants America disarmed so that when the real invasion comes farmers and factory workers won't be able to stop it. That's why Putin and Prigozhin would like to fund a bunch of misguided kids in their effort to take over the NRA and pave the way to ban all guns in America."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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