DACA 'Dreamer' Sues Following Deportation

Funny story written by humanoid

Friday, 21 April 2017

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"I need to go back to America to steal more secrets ." says Dreamer.

A young foreign spy who goes by the code name "Dreamer" was deported to Mexico earlier this year after refusing to give federal authorities the true name of his country of origin. He claims he had protected DACA status and has filed a suit against immigration seeking information about his case.

Dreamer, 25, filed a complaint Tuesday in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of California, alleging that the government did not provide any documentation explaining the legality of sending him to Mexico.

Dreamer has been in the U.S. since he was 9 and was part of a sleeper cell that was breeding a secret army of highly trained spies. He had qualified for DACA twice; he was protected until 2018.

He doesn't know the real names of his parents but only remembers them as agent 99 and agent 96. Dreamer's parents educated him in the art of spying and they prepared him to work at the Pentagon. His parents whose location is unknown and who are also spies had enrolled him in martial arts classes since the age of 10.

The M-15 intelligence agency reports there are currently an estimated 1.2 million US citizens who are children of descendent's of foreign spies. The children are currently trained to spy for their parents country of orgin.

"Their numbers are increasing to build a formidable army of saboteur's." say Audrey James commander of an M-15 unit.

"Dreamer was tossed down a drain pipe across the border without so much as a piece of paper to explain why or how," stated Hanibal Lecture, a staff attorney at the Immigration Law Center.

Dreamer engaged in a widespread effort to acquire U.S. military technology and classified information and the trade secrets of US companies.

His parents are suspected of stealing trade secrets and technology, often from companies in the United States, to help support their country's long-term military and commercial development.

Dreamer says he used a number of methods to obtain U.S. technology (using U.S. law to avoid prosecution), including espionage, exploitation of commercial entities and a network of scientific, academic and business contacts.

He is currently housed in a Catholic homeless center in Mexico. "All I own now is my black jacket, jeans, five dollars, and a nail clipper." says Dreamer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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