CIA Says Mar-a-Lago Is A Rat's Nest Of Spies And Russian Operatives

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

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A pair of Russian spies posed as a newlywed couple at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Resort.

President Trump made a newlywed couple famous by crashing their wedding party while he was simultaneously hosting a foreign leader and dealing with another North Korean missile launch. The wedding couple was later exposed as a pair of Russian spies.

Pictures of the wedding couple at Trump's resort were widely published and soon US security agencies became suspicious and flagged the couple for investigation.

Another investigation has been ongoing for at least months, the FBI and CIA are now saying that president Trump's entire Mar-a-Lago estate has been found to be infiltrated with spies in both the employ and the member roster.

An anonymous source in the CIA has also confirmed that US intelligence agencies told President Elect Trump in January that his worldwide string of business failures were ripe for infiltration by spies and terrorist saboteurs.

Loathe to criticize his capricious boss, Senate Majority leader Mitch "The Bitch" McConnell only commented on the scandal to criticize Democratic Senator Al Franken.

"You know the Democrats and a certain senator from Minnesota keep saying, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling,' whenever President Trump does something."

Translated for the rest of us, here's part of what Franken said to MSNBC:

"It looks like the president could have used some extreme vetting on the new members and employees at his club, in fact there are no new security procedures in place at Mar-a-Lago since he first announced his candidacy. This raises serious questions about President Trump's lack of judgement, especially when it comes to our national security."

The alarms over security were raised after Trump's weekend at Mar-a-Lago where he discussed and handled the latest North Korean missile crisis with the Japanese Prime Minister--all in the company of club members and guests. Later, to the Prime Minister's horror, Trump started joking with a buss boy, asking, "Should we nuke 'em? Should we nuke 'em?" Further, placing disgraced former national security advisor Michael Flynn in charge of security at Mar-a-Lago has only increased the fears of lax security there.

To test the Flynn security procedures at Mar-a-Lago, this reporter booked a Bat Mitzvah at the resort on short notice without any special vetting.

Flynn for his part was seen outside of the resort trying to shoo away reporters and TV cameras as ICE trucks hauled away undocumented workers, many of whom are thought to be on the payroll of Russia or ISIS.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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