NSA: "Just assume we're spying on everyone all the time"

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Friday, 10 July 2015

image for NSA: "Just assume we're spying on everyone all the time"
Like all good folks, the NSA loves puppies and hates terrorists.

The ongoing revelations about the United States National Security Agency's activities may be ruffling some feathers in the international political arena, but cannot come as much of a shock to anyone concerned.

The idea that nations would spy on their allies is far from new, and before Wikileaks many countries seemed to operate on the basis of "spy on everyone, but don't get caught".

With alliance balances changing significantly over time, it must have seemed prudent to get all the intel possible, and decide what to use later.

Now that getting caught is a regular occurrence, usually due to whistle-blowing from within the intelligence community, the stance of the NSA has had to change somewhat. The aim now seems to be to carry on with business as usual, but to alter US public perception to the idea that these activities are acceptable and that the NSA are the good guys. And, internationally, to push the idea that whatever is good for America is good for her allies, even if that means editing documents on news sites on news sites, but that is something we they would never do.

Hey, y'all know that the NSA are just doing their job protecting US citizens and everybody else that believes in God and Democracy, right? Did anyone mention the puppies we have introduced into NSA workspaces? They are so cute. And we're gonna have our own Facebook page soon - not in a PRISM way or anything but where you can like, Like us and post videos of your cat spying on your goldfish or whatever.

So you all have a nice day and God bless the, well everyone, and - gotta go, bye.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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