Earlier this week, the president made an attempt to settle poor relations with middle eastern countries by having peace talks with the Islamic religious elite. These talks were held at the White House, where the president's staff were told to give the guests pulled-pork sandwiches and tequila.
At the start Of the peace talks, all was well until the White House staff came out with the meal that would be served. Five minutes later, the guests had left the building.
The next day, Pakistan announced that they were declaring a state of war against the US. The President addressed a nation in shock as follows:
"America, we are in a state of war. Our attempts to talk it out with the middle east have failed. They have declared war on us. They think that they can strap their ass to a camel and throw some hand grenades at our Humvees and call it war. They just can't."
Trump Was then asked what he was going to do with the threats of war on our country. He made a brief comment:
"Look, they won't be a problem. All we have to do is just send a couple B-52s, drop a couple bombs, and watch as they get all pissed off about getting a couple diapers knocked off their heads. They'll stop what they're doing after a while, and we'll go on stopping them from nuking the jews like we always do. Next question."
The president was then asked a few more insignificant questions about how he was actually going to deal with the threat of Pakistan declaring war. He said the following:
"Pakistan is no big deal. They will come, throw a couple of grenades at people, and then leave. They are simply not strong enough to do anything real."
Mr. Trump, today is getting a lot of scrutiny from reporters at CNN, they called what he said "insulting" and "crazy," but their complaints were silenced by a B-52 bomber that dropped a payload of conventional bombs on the Pakistani capital. More on this story as it develops.