Written by Patrick Lawlor

Thursday, 23 February 2017

image for There Is Definitely A "T" In Trump

Donald Trump revealed in a recent interview that he believes he is not only doing a fantastic job as the newly appointed Commander in Chief but that his early success is being drastically overlooked. "Not only am I excelling as President of the United States, I'm doing it often. You know, it's funny, I'm actually beginning to feel like the letter 'T' in the word 'often.' Constantly overlooked. I'm standing right there, doing my job, doing a great job, truly fantastic job, and no credit."

He then went on to propose a bill that would require by law every American citizen to pronounce the hard "T" in the word "often." "Never again will there be a soft 'T' spoken in this country. This will be the era of the hard 'T' Very hard 'T.' The hardest 'T' this world has ever seen and the people will love it. Love the hard 'T.'

The bill is said to include not just the word "often" but other soft "T's" such as "fasten," "whistling," "mortgage," and "glisten." When asked his opinion of words like "castle" and "thistle," he accused the media of not properly "listening."

The President informed the media that implementing grammatical rules and restrictions is of the utmost importance in proper communication and is a subject that will eventually be taught in schools across the country. "This is just one of the many, many wonderful concepts suggested by our Secretary of Education, Betsy Devos."

It is not yet certain when or if the bill will pass through both the House and the Senate. Mr. Trump assumes that it will take a little time but should be ready by Christmas. He then went on to say, "Wait. Add that one to list."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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