San Francisco, CA - If Twitter has its way, Donald Rump will be the next US President. Putin will just be "P U", and Twitter will be called Wi Er (pronounced "we err"). The changes will occur on Inauguration Day, when Twitter will disallow any use of the letter "T" for the day.
Melania Rump will be flown in from Rump Ower ceremonies where she will celebrate the "swearing of my husband, Donald Rump." Foreign envoys will stay at Rump Ho El in Washing On DC.
Rump will give a speech in which he will say that he will make America "Grea" again, but most attendees will think he is full of "S-h-i". No one will know what Rump or the attendees will mean, but no matter, the "t" will return by the next day and everyone will have a better understanding at that time.
The only exception will be "Rump Roast" where anybody who wants to "roast" the new president will be allowed to do so.
For more fun details about this special day on Twitter, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.