President Donald Trump was reported by multiple staffers as having what can only be described as a "post watching The Notebook level of crying." After being told he could not pardon himself, the United States president threw himself on the floor.
Washington DC - (Reuterus): Vice President Mike Pence may have used a professional body double to evade charges of lying under oath at his January 2017 vice presidential inauguration according to reports. The Trump-appeasing half-wit was spotted...
Catopian Republic One hundred percent of catopia celebrated today in a post inaugural festival following the election of Hillary Clinton as the newly formed nation's first woman president. Not only was Mrs. Clinton elected president, but she was also...
Friday, January 20th 2017 Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as the 45th President of the United States. The Trump Team is crafting quite a show. Originally rumors hinted Mr. Trump would arrive at the White House by helicopter. That plan came b...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Trump spokesperson and Slytherin wannabe Kellyanne Conway announced today on FOX News that the Grim Reaper would be attending President-elect Trump's Inauguration on January 20. Explained Mrs. Conway, through her forked tongue: "Y...
Speaking to this reporter in Las Vegas, Scott Thompson, AKA Carrot Top, deflected criticism of his acceptance to headline Trump's inaugural ball. We met in his dressing room after one of his acclaimed standup comedy routines in Las Vegas, and he h...
Depraved mass murderer, musician and Beach Boy song writer, Charles Manson, has agreed to play at the presidential inauguration being held at the White House in Washington DC on January 20th of 2017. The 82 year old Manson will be released from Corc...
Washington, DC Donald Trump, President-Elect of the U.S., has put out a shout-out for a band to play for his Inaugural Ball. After being refused by the Beach Boys, Barry Manilow, Warrant, the 1910 Fruitgum Company, F Street Blues Band, a Scientology...
At about 3:00 this morning, Donald Trump responded to an email from the head of his campaign staff that said that Bill and Hillary Clinton were to be present at the inauguration ceremony this January, along with the president, Barack Obama. Inste...
San Francisco, CA - If Twitter has its way, Donald Rump will be the next US President. Putin will just be "P U", and Twitter will be called Wi Er (pronounced "we err"). The changes will occur on Inauguration Day, when Twitter will disallow any use o...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After President Obama and Aretha Franklin each gave respectively a resounding speech and rendition of the National Anthem four years ago, it seems that the designers of the second inaugural ceremony pulled a full-on Milli Vanilli o...
Monday, January 21, will be a very special day for Twitter birdies in the U.S. Many of them have told management that they are taking the day off to participate in the public inauguration of President Barack Obama in Wash., D. C. A patriotic "fly...
(Originally published in the Feb 1797 issue of the The Satirist) A letter from Martha Washington to Abigail Adams was recently attained and transcribed by our District of Columbia chief muckraker, Richard N. Bullocks. The letter was written shortly after the election of John Adams as the second President of the United States of America. Dearest Abigail, How art thou? Congratulations...
Washington, D.C.-(AP) D.C. Police today uncovered a pornographic ring that duped hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting females at the inauguration ceremonies of President Barack Obama. In all the excitement, no one noticed activity of the porn ri...
Dave Hurley, 36, thinks something big may have happened last weekend. Hurley, who rents a small studio in Dupont Circle, noticed a massive swell of people from the 17th to the 20th. "It was so weird," he recounted. "I looked out my window on Tuesd...
President Barack Obama has signed an executive order ending the easterly rotation of the planet on its axis that has characterized much of these first five billion years of Earth's existence. The executive order will maintain the current mean an...
An historic and unprecedented 'hush' descended throughout the world last Tuesday morning as nearly 7 billion people watched while then-president-elect Barack Obama was sworn in several times as the 44th President of the United States of America.
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