Pill May Be Available To Raise IQ Of White Male Trump Followers

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

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The Quinnipiac University poll released a month ago had Trump leading among white men and white women The poll had Trump leading Clinton among white men, 60 percent to 36 percent. While the margin has recently narrowed a bit, it is clear that it will be women and minorities who must put Clinton in the White House.

Liberal white men are increasingly embarrassed that so many of their gender support a neo-facist, racist, white nationalist, xenophobe, bully, bigoted, authoritarian narcissist for the Presidency. In response to extremely discomfiting liberal white guilt Dr. Robert P Jefferson, a black plastic surgeon located on the Westside in Beverly Hills, CA on plush Rodeo Drive, has decided to provide a remedy for male whiteness.

"Just as we turned Michael Jackson nearly white we can turn white males into the beautiful dark shade they want," said Jefferson, a member of California Board Certified Transition Physicians.

"To blacken their whole bodies will be an extraordinary expense but we feel that many melanin deprived white liberal males will want to make the transition," said Dr. Jefferson. Melanin is the pigment that gives human skin, hair, and eyes their color.

Injection of Melanin into the white human body is only in the beginning of clinical research trials the medical doctor pointed out. "It would be an easy fix, but we don't have it yet," he said.

But Carol Acumen, Ph.D, M.D., of the School of Medicine at U.S.C. said that the solution was too radical. She said that brain chemists at the university were "frantically working on a pill to elevate the IQ of white male Trump voters by "at least 55 points." "It is imperative that we get the medication out before election time," she stated.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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