Again Anthony Weiner Has Problems With His Wiener And Hoses Hillary

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 29 October 2016

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H.L. Menken, the great American humorist wrote of being an American, "The United States, to my eye, is incomparably the greatest show on earth. It lays chief stress upon the kinds [of clowning] which delight me unceasingly - for example, the ribald combats of demagogues, the exquisitely ingenious operations of master rogues, the pursuit of witches and heretics, the desperate struggles of inferior men to claw their way into Heaven."

I'm channeling Menken as best I can. He tells me the U.S. is "A nation of midgets." He laughs and muses that he wants to examine the implications of James Comey, the director or the FBI, saying that they had found e-mails on Anthony Weiner's computer that "appear to be pertinent" to the FBI's investigation into whether classified material from the state department was involved in Hillary Clinton's e-mails.

Menken says that when Comey speaks he sees a clown in white face make-up with a very large red nose. "The FBI is one of the most racist and anti-democratic institutions in the U.S. These jokers tried to get Martin Luther King to commit suicide, historically attempted to destroy various peace and social justice organizations, labor unions, etc. through vigilante tactics and couldn't identify a real threat to national security from their left elbows. The FBI is made up of the most ignorant and stupid class of men and women in the nation," says H.L.

Menken continues, "So, FBI Comey releases a letter to the heads of several committees on Capitol Hill, in which he said he wished to "supplement" the testimony he gave in July about the Bureau's investigation into Hillary Clinton's private e-mail server. In the letter the clown says that he doesn't know 'whether or not this material may be significant or not,' or 'how long it will take us to complete this additional work.'"

To paraphrase Menken: Why does Clown Comey announce this information? It's because his field agents advise him to do so. And this joker knows that his FBI organization leaks like a sieve so that the field agents' report will be made public. So the jester has to act 11 days before an election. Again, why?

Because he has to protect his sorry ass. He knows that releasing the new e-mail information will kick up a shi*tstorm and perhaps effect the outcome of the election but he loves his ass more than justice, democracy, and the good of the nation. Well, it's all in the tradition of FBI anti-democratic actions in this land of the free and home of the brave from sea to shining sea.

After the letter to congress becomes public there is hysterical speculation on social media about the significance of the e-mails. There is bedlam and chaotic speculation on CNN, FOX, and MSNBC about the effect on the election. The stock market briefly declines in value. The depressed nation is in an uproar. The country's Chief Clown, Donald Trump, acting as judge and jury, declares this is a scandal worse than Watergate, a criminal conspiracy cover up and cries "Lock Her Up." "Hillary Clinton's corruption is on a scale we have never seen before," Trump says.

This bedlam is all over material that Clown Comey says may have no significance at all.

This political riot all started because Anthony Weiner, who shared his computer with his wife, a Clinton operative, was being investigated by the FBI for possibly sexting to a minor and that computer seemingly had state department e-mails on it.

If Weiner didn't have problems with his wiener the whole FBI interference with the U.S. electoral process wouldn't have enabled the witless, amusing Trump and speculative media ejaculations says Menken. "Indeed, The United States, to my eye, is incomparably the greatest show on earth. It lays chief stress upon the kinds [of clowning] which delight me unceasingly," H.L. Menken concludes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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