Written by Aspartame Boy

Saturday, 29 October 2016

image for New video of Trump farting released by Paul Ryan
Beans were found hidden near Donald Trump suggesting he is in the grip of a nasty vice: recreational farting.

Washington D.C. - in a press conference here this morning, Paul Ryan released a video of Trump farting and then bragging about how well he can fart. On the video, the fart can be heard to last for a full nine seconds, at a pitch at least two octaves above middle C. We immediately contacted doctor Hitsay, noted gastroenterologist, for his analysis.

According to Dr. Hitsay, this is no ordinary fart:

"Farting at this high an audio frequency indicates a very rigid posterior posture as well as a diet high in pinto beans. I haven't heard farts like that since returning from Mexico where I treated the famous tightwad, Beano Traficante."

In the press conference, Paul Ryan indicated he was hoping everyone would vote for Hillary so he could become President after Hillary is convicted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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