Washington, D.C.: Sources close to the Trump campaign have indicated that Indiana Governor Mike Pence is dropping out of the U.S. vice- presidential race. Pence claimed that Trump's name calling went too far.
Pence was overheard on a live microphone, which he mistakenly thought was off, discussing Trump from an earlier private meeting.
"Trump called me Mike "Six" Pence. He implied that I am worthless, and when I complained, Donald mimicked me and said that maybe I should go back to Indiana and pee in the little girls room, like I'm transgendered or something. I've had it."
The campaign has scrambled to find a replacement. Sources close to the campaign state that Donald Trump, Jr. is vying for the nomination against his sister, Ivanka Trump. Trump, Jr. and Ivanka have already begun to secretly issue negative stories to the press about each other's childhood.
Meanwhile, Dan Quayle has indicated interest, citing his past experience. Quayle stated that he can now spell potato, which qualifies him for the job, and he has no problem with the nickname "Sixpence", which he feels could be an accurate name for him.
"There's no "toe" in potato, but there are toes and eyes in potatoes!" Quayle exclaimed proudly.
Also indicating interest is Chris Christie, who begged for the job once again at the main entrance of Trump Tower. However, the security guard on duty would not allow Christie to come into the office building. Christie was described as livid and was last seen throwing up in a NYC gutter.
Sources state that Christie's wife, Mary Pat, threw Christie out of the house when he was passed up for the nomination the first time and that Christie has been homeless in NYC ever since.
Sarah Palin's name has been mentioned as the "family values" candidate but sources worry whether she can afford to travel to New York to meet with Trump from her home state in Alaska. Alaska is very close to Russia. Palin can almost see Russia from her home if it were not for a large fence erected to protect the family from Levi Johnston, her daughter's first baby daddy. Russia Federation President Vladimir Putin also favors Palin and would like to know her better.
Sources state that Trump is secretly pushing for Joe the Plumber, Samuel Wurzelbacher, made famous eight years ago by "anti-hero" Senator John McCain. "He's got good plumbing," Trump is rumored to have said.
Trump has not publicly acknowledged the likely Pence move. Nonetheless, in an interview, Trump stated that he saw no reason to apologize to Pence and that he expects to hit him hard if he leaves the campaign trail.
Meanwhile, Trump Campaign Manager Paul Manafort blamed "Crooked Hillary" for creating a misunderstanding, stating that her campaign sent an email from Hillary's private server reporting the story before the Trump team could get ahead of it. Manafort stated that Trump was just being sarcastic and Pence has very thin skin.