Media Bares All For Melania

Funny story written by JennyNorthStar

Tuesday, 2 August 2016


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ONLY IN AMERICA - The New York Post launched another media storm this week with its nude photo of Melania Trump on the front page of its Sunday issue. Then "double-downed" with more nude photos of her and another model decorating its Monday edition. This marks a new low in the presidential candidate media wars. Even more shocking, okay, not so shocking, are the news stories regarding this slimy, salacious, sex exploitation. After months of hearing about what a sexist, misogynist Donald Trump is - when the tables are turned - the majority of the news focused on describing the naked pictures and where they came from.

Maybe all these stories are understandable, since many news correspondents are still men. They were probably too busy Googling her goodies, ogling her attributes, and wishing they were Donald Trump for just one night - rather than spend any time writing a story.

A friend of one internationally known reporter, whose name will be left unmentioned, overheard him have to explain to his wife why he brought home an edition of Sunday's New York Post. The reporter writes for a competing magazine. After his wife had discovered it hidden under one of her Better Homes and Gardens magazines in the bathroom, he was heard saying: "Just research for writing a story for work dear." His friend observed and commented: "She didn't seem convinced." Previously, she had already thrown out all his old Playboys and Sports Illustrated Swim Suit editions.

A few Melania Trump news stories went the extra mile concerning the nude photos and, like the Wikileaks DNC email controversy, added their own bits of intrigue. Probably written by gay men who weren't so distracted by the photos. It was not the Russians this time, but Donald Trump who leaked the photos himself. The only conjecture missing were theories about how the pictures had been Photoshopped and her breasts plagiarized. Wait for it, it will come - this news story has "legs" - long, slender ones I might add.

Poor Donald or Melania just can't seem to get a fair break in the news. Everyone is for fair coverage, love a juicy conspiracy, and don't want to be accused of a double standard on morality. However, the Russian plot seems to have been lost in this story.

An undisclosed source confirmed: "The Russians have unpublished selfies of Mrs. Clinton in a sports bra and yoga pants that were hacked from her homebrew server. Mrs. Clinton had previously mentioned how most of her deleted 30,000 emails where just wedding planning and yoga appointments. It's unclear whether the photos will appear on the front cover of the New York Post. But, it only seems fair. If it happens, Viagra sales will skyrocket. Any man after seeing a picture of Mrs. Clinton in yoga pants will probably suffer erectile dysfunction - maybe even permanently.

Commentary: As a woman, it pains me deeply to have to disclose the last part of this rude, crude, and lewd story. It's just too hard to take the moral high-ground when the Clintons are involved.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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