Washington, D.C. - You heard it here first. The Trump campaign has, yet again, surprised America by proposing a new policy it is naming "The Unalienable Personal Space of Americans", which would criminalize the action of illegal aliens who get too close to U.S. citizens on American soil without their express permission. At present, at least 10 million illegal aliens live in America and Trump has said that these aliens tend to bring crime. Therefore, the Trump campaign believes that Americans should be protected against the relatively high risk of criminal encounters initiated by illegal aliens.
Some have argued that enforcement of this policy is impractical because it is too difficult - if not impossible - to identify illegal aliens without the costly action of reviewing documentation. The Trump campaign has indicated that there are new technologies that could lower the cost of policing and reduce the risk of racial profiling, such as using CCTV cameras already positioned throughout American cities as a law enforcement tool. "CCTV cameras linked with American and Interpol ID databases will help us to nab personal-space offenders," said a Trump campaign representative.
This solution is not without its critics. A retired police officer with decades of experience reviewing security camera footage said that "American cities would need to install surveillance cameras with no blind spots to maximize policing power." This, of course, is a very expensive proposition but the Trump campaign may have another idea brewing that can only be communicated in Trump's own words: "Look, I'm not saying that we need a physical wall around each and every American, but I wouldn't take that idea off the table," he said in an exclusive interview with one of our reporters.