[Donald Trump confers with his chief political advisor Michael Glassner, on the selection of a running mate:]
MG (sorting through stack of resumes): What about this republican governor in Maine, LePage?
DT: No one's ever heard of Maine. Next choice?
MG: How about Silvio Berlusconi?
DT: Isn't he in jail? Never mind. He's more outrageous than I am, he'd steal attention away from me. We need someone to balance the ticket.
MG: How about Chris Christie?
DT: I said balance the ticket, not overbalance it.
MG: Marco Rubio? It'd help us with the Hispanic-Latino vote.
DT: Too lame. The guy has even less energy than Jeb.
MG: Okay, we are looking for somebody with energy, but not so much energy that he or she steals attention away from you, somebody whose face won't scare a little child, and who isn't a fatty. How about . . .
DT: Wait a minute, I got it. Give Joe Biden a call.
MG: Huh? He'd never accept it, he's a democrat.
DT: So what? He's going to be out of a job soon, he doesn't have enough energy to go for the number one spot on the ticket, and he says stupid stuff from time to time. He's perfect.
MG: You're crazy!
DT: Lots of people have said that, and I've proved them all wrong. Look, I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
MG: Oh, so now you're Don Corleone?
DT: I do look a bit like him, don't I. Only better hair.
MG: What could you possibly offer Joe Biden to get him to agree to be your running mate? You going to put his face on the ten dollar bill?
DT: Even better. I can't tell you what my plan is. But it'll be HUUUUGE!
