Trump claims multi multi multi cultural background

Funny story written by Toeknee Abcess

Friday, 18 September 2015

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Donald Trump supporters, and other political groups with negative IQ's, have been stunned this morning by admissions  from Trump's camp that he has a multi-cultural background.

Spokesman  for Trump, Elmo Goebbels made the announcement from Trump's Pussy's Lair, high in a Manhattan building owned by Trump's Fourth Reich property business.

"Donald Trump is a man of principle. Donald Trump is a man destined to rule the world. Sorry I meant America. Donald Trump has realized multicultural is what you need to be to rule America ... Obama is living proof, our very own Rastafarian, Muslim, buddhist black boy President. God Bless America".

Goebbels continued, "Donald Trump is, in fact, America's most multicultural man. His colouring is one hundred per cent Aryan. In fact his hair has been traced back ten generations to Asleikur the Dyke, an Icelandic warrior of flexible sexual persuasions. His arms and legs are pure African American... his great great great grandfather was Kunte Trumper, an African slave who escaped slavery by swimming back to Africa and establishing the first fast cannibal food chain in north-west Africa and made a fortune selling body parts to marauding Arabic pirates. His torso is fifty percent Hispanic and fifty percent native American... let's  just say his grandpa liked putting it around in New Orleans if you pardon the expression y'all. And his penis is strictly  Jewish. That sucker is well and truly peeled and a fine example of Yiddish  manhood."

Trump fans admit to being stunned by the news. Staunch supporter and white supremacist Tom Messtup commented " Man I thought we  had us a genuine, all-American, pure non-nigger, non-Jew, non-Shi'ite, pure-bred boy on thu way to thu White house y'all. Trump looks like another messed up, Jew-luvin nigger who is gonna hesitate about nukin' Mexico next time another illegal crosses our sacred border. My... I may have to vote for Hilary at this rate. I kinda liked her emails anyway."

Pundits have Trump still maintaining a slim lead for the Republican nomination but are now expecting a big swing to the Trump camp from US minority voters who Trump now realises outnumber his existing supporters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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