Dead Sewer Rat Out Polls Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden Against GOP Candidates!!

Funny story written by Jean Le Fete

Saturday, 29 August 2015

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Dead Rat Ronald Ratan Out Polls GOP

After Joe Biden's numbers against the GOP frontrunners shocked many for a man who has yet to make a speech, many thought the Democratic party would be satisfied. But to everyone's surprise in perhaps thrown in, a dead rat dubbed Ronald Ratan has upstaged Joe Biden's anticipated entrance into the race. Ronald Ratan a dead sewer rat has taken off with the latest national poll against GOP hopefuls beating Donald Trump 55-29 percent. He beat Bush 51-32 percent and gets 49 percent to Rubio's 36 percent.

Ronald Ratan has taken the Democratic Party by storm, without making a single political speech. "He's so charismatic," said Eunice Hinklemeyer of Cedar Rapids Iowa, "When they dragged him through here the other day by his tail, I said to my husband,'There goes the next President of these here United Stakes".

Republicans have railed against the idea of a dead rat for President. Donald Trump said, "All rats are rodents! They've been sent here by Mexico to exploit our sewers and make them uninhabitable by our homeless people. I will deport all rats back to Mexico when I get elected! ON DAY ONE!"

"Wermin!" said George W. Bush from his home in Houston, "Rutton, stinkin' wermin!"

Fox News Megyn Kelly interviewed Ronald Ratan, in a far reaching interview covering many topics and came away with a much more positive outlook. "Well unlike most of the GOP candidates, when Ronald Ratan says nothing, he....really says nothing. When Trump says nothing, it takes him a minimum of a ten minute non-stop tirade."

Ronald Ratan will be in Iowa this weekend at a fundraiser in Des Moine. His spokes person has said he will be working mostly at decomposing his next speech on immigration.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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