Local Business Spotlight: School Supply Blues

Funny story written by Xavier Fairbanks

Thursday, 16 July 2015

image for Local Business Spotlight: School Supply Blues
Students utilize the costly supplies required, at NY Public School 518

As more and more schools follow the recent trends in increasing demand for parent provided school supplies, local businessman, James Garfunkle found an opportunity he just could not pass up. Garfunkle is the owner of a new small town business named "Supply Hive". Supply Hive specializes in providing loans to parents at a relatively low interest rate to allow them to provide the needed supplies for their children's upcoming school year.

"I started noticing how extremely relevant my idea was when I received my daughter's school supply list and year after year it continued to grow more and more extensive" , said Garfunkle. "At one point, we were even required to bring in a new door for the class room in our list. Money doesn't grow on trees, but sometimes good ideas do", he continued.

The opening of Supply Hive in the metro New York area has allowed for countless parents to finally afford the increasing bills they face when purchasing their children's supplies for the upcoming academic year.

"I want my children to be prepared and able to succeed", said one local mother, Jamie Chapin. Chapin lamented the time of year when she receives the updated supply list for the upcoming year.
"Last year we had no choice, we had to take out a second mortgage on our family home. It was ok for the time being last year, but what about the year after that? The one after that? It's Ridiculous", she continued.

James Garfunkle couldn't agree more. He sympathizes with his fellow parents as they struggle to make ends meet and still be able to provide for the pages long list they know is awaiting them in the mailbox at this time of the year.

"There is a real need", Garfunkle told us. "The problem of rising school supply costs is not going anywhere anytime soon".

To prove his point, Garfunkle and a team of local parents set out to compile a list of the ridiculous school supply lists from a few local schools. To give you an idea of just how bad the problem is becoming, a school classroom door, a new roof, air conditioning unit, laptop, and even a chalk board are among growing requests from parents in their yearly school supply notices. One local school has even gone as far as to require all students to come prepared for Life Science class with a live Falcon.

"I want families to be able to survive and succeed", Garfunkle said. "It's my hope that Supply Hive will allow them to do this comfortably and reasonably."

If you are interested in meeting with a certified school supply loan officer feel free to stop by Supply Hive Monday through Friday, 9:00 am - 7:30 pm. Garfunkle and his team will be happy to assist you and make a difference in your life, starting today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more