Pavlonian Media Taught To Slobber When They See A TelePrompter

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 27 April 2015

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Pavlonian Dog

BILLINGSGATE POST: Like many great scientific advances, classical conditioning was discovered accidentally. Like Pavlov, President Obama discovered that his running dog media would begin to salivate whenever he entered the room, even when he was not bringing them real information. At first this was just embarrassing and messy, as special janitors had to mop up the place after each interview.

However, once the President learned that any object or event which the dogs learned to associate with his own lies or misinformation would trigger the same response, he found that he could condition the same slobbering response just by setting up his TelePrompters.

In behaviorist terms, his misinformation, such as calling the Fort Hood massacre as "work place violence," was a neutral stimulus because it produced no response in the dogs. What had happened was that the neutral stimulus (the presence of him lying) had been associated with an uncontrolled stimulus (him reading from a Teleprompter).

So when his running dogs learned the association between the Teleprompter and a new behavior, it was determined that this response was learned; thus a conditioned response. After a number of these slobbering responses were observed, the President found he could increase the slobbering just by setting up even more Teleprompters.

As a result, whenever President Obama gives a speech, shots of the Teleprompters being set up hours before the speech cause such salivation in the liberal newsrooms that he doesn't have to say anything to get a slobbering account in their reports.

Just a slobbering mess that you can blame on Russian physiologist, Ivan Pavlov.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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