Alabama Man Finally Delivers First Rape Baby!

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

image for Alabama Man Finally Delivers First Rape Baby!
Huckleby cuddles his tiny newborn, Minnie.

Birmingham, AL - Cleevon Huckleby, 39, first became famous when he accidentally volunteered to become the very first man in America to have a fetus, tragically conceived during a sexual assault, shot into his stomach lining, in an effort to save the child. We caught up with Huckleby at the hospital, shortly after a pregnancy that inexplicably lasted for more than two years!

"I dun saved me the life of a rape baby!" said Huckleby, proceeding a super long beer burp while beaming in front of reporters in the maternity ward, along side the other new mothers.

When asked if he'd recommend other Christian men to volunteer, Huckleby assured the bedside reporters that he most definitely would not, "Heck no! I learned my lesson - that's goddamn woman's work!" he said emphatically. "It was hell! My ass was on fire the whole time!" (which turned out to be medically unrelated to his pregnancy.)

The disappointing news that Huckleby had not reached any new horizons on women's rights during his pregnancy, came as a devastating blow to the folks over at Man Up America!, the wacko liberal foundation that started the campaign. "He was supposed to help get other bigoted hill-billies, who don't believe in a woman's right to choose, to Man Up! and do their part, too!" said Diane DeLivre, Man Up America's! Founder. "It's really a sad day for male chauvanists everywhere. Mr. Huckleby was supposed to be our torch-bearer! Now we're back to waiting until another idiot falls asleep in church again and gets volunteered by his drinking buddy.

But that didn't tamper spirits in the Huckleby camp. "She's a goddamn little cutie!" said Cleevon, cuddling his new daughter in one hand while chugging another can of Ole Swamp Buggy. "Can't wait to show 'er off to the guys down at Rusty's Place... Buuuuurrrrrppp!"

Meanwhile Ms. DeLivre, from Man Up America!, furiously filled out the mountain of unnecessary government forms which Huckleby claimed he, 'couldn't understand none too well,' while she seriously contemplated a different line of employment. "I'm thinking of going back to tracking Monarch butterflies," said DeLivre, who misses working with a subject that has a brain.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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