Miraculously, Televangelist Joyce Meyer Gives Birth at Age 71

Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

image for Miraculously, Televangelist Joyce Meyer Gives Birth at Age 71

Fenton, MO--In what many of her followers are calling a miracle, televangelist Joyce Meyer on Tuesday gave birth at the age of 71. The wildly successful televangelist from Missouri reportedly gave birth to a two thousand pound cash cow at St. Clare Health Center in Fenton, where Joyce Meyer Ministries is located.

The calf Ms. Meyer gave birth to, which had a yellowish fur that almost looked golden in color, also miraculously spoke only minutes after Ms. Meyer birthed it. It said, "With cash, all things are possible!"

Ms. Meyer has apparently taken her golden calf as a sign from God, and is planning on having the miracle calf cast in gold and put on display at her Ministry in Fenton, Missouri. The golden calf will have a voice over that repeats to anyone who will listen, "What about me? What about me? What about me?"

Viewing the miracle calf Ms. Meyer gave birth to will only cost paying customers $40.00, with all the proceeds going to Joyce Meyer Ministries, which is dedicated to the perpetuation and wholly enrichment of Joyce Meyer and her family.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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