Megyn Kelly Dismisses Soccer Slander Regarding Hillary

Written by TM_Dealer

Friday, 27 February 2015

Megyn Kelly of the right-leaning Fox News network has defended Hillary Clinton from malicious and false non-centre-leaning-conservative allegations that she is bad at basketball.

See this transcript:

The enemies of the Democratic Party, is there any depths to which they will not stoop to insult this woman with malicious and self-evidently false, I mean absolutely ridiculously implausible allegations?

I believe if Hillary Clinton were a male non-RINO, say if Hillary Clinton were actually Ted Cruz or Rand Paul but kinda still looked a bit like Hillary but not much...

Well, yeah... in such a case, no-one would ever criticize her in this way.

I mean, she goes to a school to talk to the kids, kicks the ball to show off her self-evident soccer prowess, misses the net, and a swarm of the wrong kind of Republican trolls just descends upon her like randy Tea hornets.

So, they accuse Hillary of left-leaning bad faith when she actually correctly confirmed in her interview with me that she is quite the basketball player.

Yes, all right, just have a look at this pic of Hillary being confronted by these people… and this twitter footage… so much for net neutrality, huh?

You know, I have a suspicion™ that this school kept moving the goalposts, just so that she would be in the wrong no matter what she did. Well hey... John Boehner, anyone?

Worse than a crony-capitalist glass ceiling, huh? You know, I'm not going to say for sure, I mean there sure are a lot of Republicans out there who are not favorable to mainstream figures like Newt, Chris, or maybe Sarah, at a push...

So, I guess I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions. I guess this is a country where women like Jan Brewer or Marilyn Manson can be highly respected political figures, but successful and talented women like Clinton just end up being ignored and laughed at.

By the way, people are saying that Elizabeth Warren is much better, but that's obviously nonsense. I mean, she's a Democrat! So she's... obviously an extremist.

Yeah, personally, I think Hillary is going to jump ship and vote GOP; I mean, her foreign policy is neocon in all but name. Tell you what, I would be deeply honored to vote either for or against Hillary, but preferably for.

Oh… oh my gosh, sorry, I didn't mean to explicitly endorse a possible future presidential candidate who technically isn't a Republican... well, not yet anyway!

Well, just shows you how nonsensical all these petty demands about media balance and objectivity are!

Current projections suggest Kelly's inadvertent intervention has now placed Hillary a firm favourite. 150% of the electorate will now vote for her...

Given that GOP voters only deserve half a vote, according to certain notable public figures.

However this, of course, depends purely on how you look at it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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