Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 21 February 2015

image for Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them
Hacked the 'Jihadi' website's server to discover Scientologists behind recruitment drive

Los Angeles - An LAX press conference heard this evening how three runaway schoolgirls blamed a US-based Scamatology recruitment website for grooming them to run away from home as Jihadi matrimonial bait.

Homeland Insecurity officials said Fatima, Ayah and Samira - all 16 - arrived unexpectedly from London at LA International ahead of Oscars Night.

All three have demanded immediate political asylum 'or they'll spill the beans' about the 'Jihadi' website that groomed them.

Tonight they named the recently opened Scientology temple located in the fundamentalist anti-vaxxer haven of Clearwater, Florida, as running the so-called JihadiBrideBook.con website.

"They sent us tickets for a flight to Turkey," one of the girls explained, "with instructions to wait outside the Istanbul Kebab Emporium for the Syria-bound camel train.

"But we saw through the bullshit when photos of our new IS husbands arrived, all looking like an Islamicised version of a well-known short and mentally deranged US actor, whose name may be an anagram of Ice Tumors, allegedly.

"That's when we hacked their dumb server."

So far the students' allegations remain uncorroborated despite much turmoil on the web tonight.

Stay tuned to this website for all the latest updates as the Jihadi Three as they are known prepare for a live address.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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