Clearly Criminal, FL Church of Scamatology leader was admitted to the hospital in serious condition today as a result of a beating he received from himself.
Makemerich, widely known as "Wee Davy" for his diminutive stature, had been in the habit of choosing different church members each day to give a beating to.
"We think that as Scamatology has been shrinking it has become harder and harder for Makemerich to find new victims to punch and bite and kick. He just started punching himself before he realized that it was himself that he was punching."
Although Scamatology has been rapidly shrinking due to the failing of all recent projects, including the Idle Morgues and the Super Powers building, it was thought to be able to survive awhile longer due to its accumalated billions of dollars and euros. However, with these recent developments the future of the church is uncertain.