In a show of brilliance that made a mockery of descriptions of him as a lumbering carthorse with little or no turn of pace, Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire moved like a bullet out a gun earlier today, when he trod on a co...
Huge, over-populated global cities smothered in pollution are causing the growth of a strange, underground creature; Super Rats (No not Supermen)! Rats fed on our crap are beginning to grow to enormous sizes, have huge teeth and tails, and are fri...
Vegans on the warfare in New Zealand! A mum holding her hungry baby attempted to flop her boob out in a vegan restaurant and was told to put it away and "get out!" The mum, very upset of course, put away her boob and left the restaurant in disgust...
After a lifetime of couch-surfing, squatting in abandoned tenements, and even sleeping in overflowing trash bins when he couldn't find some sympathetic soul to put him up, New York City cockroach Chuck Felsin has finally gotten his own apartment.
Long Island, New York - An airbrush artist employed to showcase Jenna Bush and husband Henry Hager's Long Island teardown is being sued for failure to erase creepy-crawly images inside the couple's beachside home. Pictures posted on Sag Harbor's B...
On a crowded airplane flight aboard Alaska Airlines, a female passenger (not Sarah Palin) and a scorpion struggled over a seat, resulting in the scorpion's biting the woman's hand. Flight 567 was approaching the runway when the incident occurred.
Jaggedone's CIA have just received a report from roving, starving reporter, Jumpa In-Curry-Singh, from an Indian restaurant in Manchester Ladies and gentleman I have just experienced a near death experience after entering a chicken curry served in Mughli's Indian restaurant. I was enjoying a quick snack when a huge fork from above entered my rear end and before I ended up on the menu, I managed...
Baltimore, MA - An employee trapped in a KFC outlet flooded by hurricane Irene managed to alert officials by spelling out "SOS" on the roof of the building using drowned cockroaches. The employee, Ramone Concha, was rescued still wearing his work apr...
Scientists are working feverishly to find new ways to fight antibiotic-resistant strains of staph bacteria such as e-coli and MRSA, which have become epidemic throughout the world. The one insect you thought might be responsible for spreading such ba...
(Seattle) Students at the University of Washington have discovered a novel approach to combating cockroaches that can be found in many kitchens. Members of the freshman AP class combined diet soda and corn chips to produce a substance lethal to th...
Kentucky Fried Chicken, the world's greasiest Fa(s)t Food outlet, was fined £19,000 today after a Cockroach was found eating a chip in its Leicester Square Branch. The Cockroach, Denzil the Muncher, had apparently entered the establishment after e...
How do you feel about becoming a cockroach? Could you stand being yourself? The Dalai Lama in his press conference this morning, set out to warn that each of us may have to adjust in a post nuclear world, to becoming cockroaches. "That may be t...
Millions of roaches found themselves locked out of their favorite motel chain as the sagging economy claimed another victim. The closures came unexpectedly and caught many roaches off guard. Some were permanent residents, others overnight guests.
A gigantic cockroach remains the sole mystery in the disappearance of Gregory Simpson. "We're convinced that he just took off." Says his mother, a home-ridden asthmatic. "He was always a selfish bastard. And leaving a big bug in the bed was just...
Shaun O.T. Seine read about USDA's National Animal Identification System (NAIS) in The Washington Stump, and decided that he would get his pet cockroach, Bernard, micro-chipped. It took less than two weeks before Shaun, and thousands of others, be...
In a scene reminscince of the fifties classic, "The Cockroach What Ate Queens" people on Oak Street near the abandoned house at 311 are staying up all night even though a Neighborhood Watch group was formed this past Sunday. At least three peopl...
Houston TX-- NASA today released very depressing classified information from the Hubble Space Telescope (HST). Outer Space is infested with gigantic cockroaches. The roaches are 'hundreds of miles long' and swarm just outside Mars orbit. The HST h...
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