Washington DC - Citing an off-color Mars/Neptune conjunction in Pisces followed by a psychotic Aquarius New Moon the acclaimed Astrology Channel has suddenly turned chicken.
And cancelled Tuesday's live stream Presidential rant.
It's the first time in its impressive 60 year hystery that the State of the Union has been scratched by the Channel due to some unpleasant celestial event.
According to a PR statement released by their Effin Karma sister-website the decision to blow away Barack Obama comes after much soul searching - as well as a fat $2m paycheck from rival broadcaster My Big Fat Uranus Faultline.
The zodiac fanzine regularly features the Obama family as astrological role models for up and coming young wannabes.
Tuesday night their exclusive coverage will feature live updates of the Preisent's cosmic ratings.
Tune in in real time to the live broadcast right here on the Spoof website.
