US Super Majors Sitting Pretty On Trillion Dollar Cash Pile

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 1 January 2015

image for US Super Majors Sitting Pretty On Trillion Dollar Cash Pile
'Enough $$$ to bankroll the USA's entire national payroll'

Washington DC - "Doc, I have a dream," President Obama told his personal analyst yesterday morning, "I have this dream I'm gonna rob another - uh - rob a bank."

The recurring nocturnal visions started shortly after Thanksgiving and seem to be fixated around a famous Big Oil bank.

Sources close to White House Professor of Psychoanalysis Dr Einstein Flintstone are hinting strongly that the President's obsession lies with FirstAmerica Fracking Bank of New York.

Last week the Wall Street giant published its annual report showing Big Oil has more than one trillion US dollars on deposit.

Or enough to bankroll the country's entire national payroll in the event of any, ahem, sudden White House coup.

Accumulated during the recent six year bull run the nest egg is slowly festering Barack Obama's 'conscience' according to Dr Flintstone's recent prognosis.

"Plunging global crude prices have done little to wipe the smile off Big Oil's face," the shrink commented.

"Obama's probably cooking up some sort of grand Presidential shakedown plan."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more