Responding to the attack by David Geffen, former Clinton ally and fund raiser, and now Mitt Romney supporter that Bill would be risky (meaning frisky) to have as first man.
"After Bill got "attended to" in the oval orifice by Monica Lewinsky," Mrs Clinton explained, "I took a long hard, very hard, look at the situation and had to admit to myself that I was starving a very virile man of a key ingredient in his emotional composition; the need for oral sex which is a very deep and important drive in both men and women -- and a necessity for the fulfilment of a complete relationship."
Bill and Hillary took the decision to attend a demanding 'Oral Sex Boot Camp Training' -- which is anecdotally so rigorous that experts call it the Navy Seal training equivalent of Blow Jobbing.
Bill came in first in the class and Mrs Clinton came in second, an achievement that Hillary was more than happy with. As Hillary explained:
"The woman that came in first could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch -- our marriage completely changed and we are like a pair of lovebirds.
"Now Bill says, when he stops screaming and moaning, that he can hardly walk after I finish -- and I don't mean to get personal but last week, our security team almost broke into our soundproof bedroom after Bill performed his 'Dive" on me. -- I actually snapped one of the posts off George Washington's bed!"
With Bill's needs now decidedly under control, Hillary expects he shall be a great asset to the political process and, as first man, will be an effective servant to the American people. Hillary is more than confident that the former president will be key in performing many important ongoing functions for Madam President - especially, as tradition would have it, in the Oval Office.