DNA from Lake Champlain 'monster' tests positive for Hillary Clinton genome

Written by queen mudder

Friday, 14 November 2014

image for DNA from Lake Champlain 'monster' tests positive for Hillary Clinton genome
Large birthmark on the beastie's forehead says 'Hillary 2016'

New York - A large humped underwater monster, believed to be part Tanystropheus and part freshwater jellyfish, has been DNA tested to reveal close blood ties with presidential wannabe Hillary Clinton.

Cryptozoologists trawling the depths around Lake Champlain say retrieved urine samples initially suggested the beastie could be a throwback to a dinosaur that lived in Upper New York State more than 232 million years ago.

"For two years we took the piss, so to speak," project leader Professor Einstein Flintstone commented, "trying to establish a genetic ID."

An unexpected breakthrough then occurred at Halloween when two separate research vessels photographed the monster surfacing in the midday sun.

"That's when we saw it," Einstein continued, "a large, fishy birthmark on the creature's forehead that looks just like a Hillary 2016 bumper sticker."

A pound of plesiosaur caviar retails at around $50,000.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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