John McCain Regrets Choosing Sara Palin

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 11 October 2014

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WASHINGTON - Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her family, including husband Todd Palin, daughters Bristol and Willow Palin and son Track Palin were involved in a drunken fistfight at a house party in Anchorage several weeks ago. The one-time vice presidential candidate was asked to leave the party after Track Palin and Bristol Palin attacked other guests. Sara Palin swore at party guests as the family left in a white Hummer Limousine. A report issued by police yesterday states that no charges will be filed.

At the brawl, a drunk Bristol Palin punched the host in the face repeatedly and a shirtless, heavily intoxicated and belligerent Track Palin, Sarah Palin's adult who son entered the party house with his Mother, started fights he could not win. Bristol, too, was a loser as party guests pinned her down as she kicked and screamed.

John McCain said today that he deeply regrets choosing Sara Palin as his running mate in 2008. "I knew when I chose her that she was an Alaskan hillbilly, with this outrageous family. I understood that she was a kind of illiterate hick, but that didn't bother me then, and I don't care about it now."

McCain continued, "But what is totally upsetting is that the Palins lost fistfights at the party brawl. If Sara can't teach her kids how to win a fight how could we have expected her to protect America? What would have happened if I'd be elected to the Presidency but died in office? American would have been defenseless."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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