Russian, Ukraine Oligarchs Congratulate U.S. Elites

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 3 April 2014

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On Wednesday, Chief Justice John Roberts Jr., told the nation it was unconstitutional to say that a rich person could only give a total of $123,200 to congressional campaigns each election cycle, and to limit money going into political parties and political action committees from millionaires and billionaires.

In a 5-4-court decision, in McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission the Supreme Court's conservative sycophants supported the politics of dollarocracy. The decision follows on the heels of the famous Citizens United case that struck down limits on over-all federal campaign donations.

In preliminary arguments Roberts refused to answer the question as to whether money corrupts politics on the grounds that it was a "hypothetical."

After the ruling, oligarchs from Russia and Ukraine, who benefit from and/or control the political systems sent congratulatory e-mails to America's oligarchs including the billionaire Koch brothers and Sheldon Adelson.

"Now your 1-percenters can flood the political system with money in ways even beyond my dreams," e-mailed Ihor Kolomoysky from Dnipropetrovsk, Eastern Ukraine to U.S. oligarch, Oil King, Charles Koch.

Kolomoysky is one of several billionaire industrialists that the new government of the Ukraine, President Oleksandr V. Turchynov has announced as governors of Eastern provinces to try to promote stability.

Industrial, banking and business elites have controlled the Ukrainian political system since the founding of the country. This has been true in the United States historically with a few exceptional periods.

But with efforts of the GOP to sweep away the New Deal reforms of the 1930's and 40's and the huge disparity in income distribution, the U.S. could well return to the Gilded Age of the 19th Century.

That return should be hastened by the Roberts Courts' crusade to destroy all barriers to the U.S.' being a plutocracy like the Ukraine.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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