Washington DC, Monday. The President, Barack Obama, has apparently overcome the National Guard ringed around his residence and made a secret rendezvous with his fiance, Cher. It is believed that a Guardsman was paid off in order to allow Obama's hasty exit to meet with the famous singer.
The White House press spokesperson, William Rothschild III, denied that Obama paid a bribe and adamantly stated the President was secreted out in a cleaners' van while Michelle Obama was watching Modern Family on TV. Mrs Obama has reacted cautiously to the latest news and is probably considering her next move.
The President met Cher, according to rumours around the press gallery, in a small town in Pennsylvania and had a meal at a humble little diner known as Al's Big Eat.
NB The White House has just been forced to deny innuendo that the President also met up with young performer, Miley Cyrus. Keep watching this space.