Slavery 2: New & Improved And Not So Suddenly Available To All Those Now In Our Nearest Available Unaffordable Out Of Workplace

Funny story written by John Peurach

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

image for Slavery 2: New & Improved And Not So Suddenly Available To All Those Now In Our Nearest Available Unaffordable Out Of Workplace
What The Huh? - Uh-oh, back to basics time for all fools up to no good running down this hill.

Paramus, NJ - In an apparent attempt to better position themselves for a successful run through both the 2014, and, later on, 2016 elections, certain powers that be within the outside looking in Republican Party - along with, of course, any and all hanger-on Tea Party types anxious to gravy train themselves into a better co-conspirator position, as well - now seem more than just ready, willing and all the way able to embark on an otherwise bold, daring, and decidedly adventurous, duel action retro-driven plan of policy attack that's sure to draw some sort of all along for the slide response that's either….Hail yes!, Oh no!, Holy WTF?!?, and, oh yeah, as always, next to nowhere wiggling in between.

In other words, that's right, America, it's time to wake up, smell their have to go there taffy pull, and get back to work again - at least 99% of y'all - by turning the big glad to be bad political clock here to there and all the way back to a little something the nearest available at the real new deal wheel 1% have chosen to call (drum roll, please) - "Slavery 2: New & Improved and Specifically Designed For Not Just You Know Who."

"That's right, all you kids-a-plenty, this time everyone gets into the act. Well, almost everyone. But still, way more than before. And thus, certainly enough to go around and around in a highly advanced equilateral sort of way that would, if it could, in a most unusually natural sort of way, eventually come out where we already think, and thus, insist, we know exactly where," said Sen. Hunker Dunkerdown, R - Texas on Tuesday, to a jam & jelly packed house of ultra-enthused, easily winded, like-minded, mostly white folk (What do you mean, "mostly?") hell bent on rallying it up accordingly at an otherwise impromptu gathering at an altogether nondescript (yet thoroughly well maintained) exclusive town & country/their kinda fun club otherwise majestically situated one good 3-wood, several not so heavy stones throws, and/or, an altogether recklessly aimed ICS Olympic Arms assault rifle shot away from beautiful downtown Plano.

"I mean, after all, fair is fair, especially when it's unfairly applied to a carefully chosen pre-selected semi-sort of across the board segment of our, till now, just slightly engaged, ill-informed, carelessly deficient society that, for whatever reason, isn't yet entirely in lock-step, heart and mind alignment with people like us, otherwise committed to the one and only just way our specifically designed God already planned it," Dunkerdown said some more, although (due to an ongoing inability to hear himself think and eat sweet potato fries at the same time) just slightly unaware as to all the reasons why oh why.

Then again, being as how the American public always loves a sequel - and thus, has consistently seen fit to progressively line up accordingly like anything but deep thinking regressive minded sheep in order to maintain their collective up close and personal witness-driven attentions zeroed in - and then some - on all the easily digested, totally misguided, now and forever recycled to be sequelized for your inspection series of movies, religious thought patterns and/or legislative movement maneuverings that: a) Hollywood; b) any number of pushy self-serving faith mongers; c) all the heavy duty rear view doers and shakers deep within the politically representative trade; d) all of the above, have continually foisted on the public at large and small ever since every once proud go-to well of irrespective bright new ideas officially ran dry cause why at some point in our collective not so recent long since gone-like past (give or take) - is it any wonder that enough is enough already GOP and nearby Tea Bag honks have finally gotten around to thinking something like this, all the way up and out, and, until further notice, at 'em?

Well, it's early yet. But, even so, lucky for all if not most of those left standing around with there mouths open, and their minds not yet closed, follow-up to the contrary opinions were quick to arrive in order to hopefully set this broken record at least a little bit more straight than it's already been so far oversold.

In still other words……

"I mean, if what you're aiming it is a totally once upon another wicked time American way," cautioned Rep. Roberta "Billi" Nilly, D - Illinois during a never quite well thought out Hands Wringing Across America demonstration held along a series of well traveled surface streets in suburban Chicago, including an under reconstruction (by a snoozy team of mostly low level not yet made Mob men) overpass above the Eisenhower Expressway just south of Elmhurst, "be my guest, and, of course, look no further than this don't go there, girlfriend, blast from the past that some totally un-fun ones among us now seem more than just quite determined to never see go too far away."

"But, if you're all on our board in our corner, and thus, in to win, with us and never no way no how against us," Sen. Nilly continued, "we just know we'll ultimately be successful when it comes time to stop this brand of idiotic retro re-thinking by beheading it off at the all things like this must pass."


"You've got to be kidding, right?" said Rep. Harriet Ozzie, D-Rhode Island. "What next, Crime & Punishment reality programing with weekly executions of the American Idol-like kind? Hey, wait a minute, depending upon the right amount of cross-promotional product placement that could really turn into something. And even more so if you get the right lightening in a bottle host."

And, in (temporarily off-track) conclusion.....

"Hey, if you're gonna go to all the trouble to make Washington drop their long standing highly profitable Redskins brand name, then how about finally switching either the Giants or Jets, preferably the Giants, to New Jersey since that's where they play. And have since the 70s, or ever since they left New York," said Rep. Jocko Leiberman, D-New Jersey. "Seriously, what would it hurt? I mean, really? Wait a second, I'm sorry, did I get into the wrong line of got to be bothered response again?"

Afraid so. But, not to worry, surprisingly enough perpetually re-electable chum, as there's a whole lotta soon to be been there doing that, somewhere out there/in here, and/or, wherever it is I hope you know we know you're, more or less, coming from.

(Without the nicks and cuts of a blade.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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