Cheney Family Feuds Over Gay Marriage

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

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Cheyenne, WY--Liz Cheney, in her bid for a Senate seat in Wyoming, has now gone beyond simply disapproving of gay marriage and called for burning homosexuals at the stake. Cheney is trying to appease the right-wing of the Republican Party, much of which still apparently holds on to Old Testament views of homosexuality, and has quarreled publicly with her younger sister Mary, who married her long-time partner Heather Poe in 2012.

"Burn the bitch!" implored Liz Cheney in an ad which is expected to saturate the media market in large parts of Wyoming. "She and her partner Heather are an abomination against Yahweh!" Then, quoting Leviticus 20:13, Cheney added, "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them!"

Mary Cheney, her four year old daughter Sarah in tow, only smiled and said, "Liz always was jealous of me, the bitch. Dad always liked me better'n her. Mom, I'm not so sure about."

When questioned about the family spat over gay marriage, Lynne Cheney only shook her head and mumbled something about "Those two!" Dick Cheney, hand over his heart, blanched and refused to comment.

Liz Cheney is expected to attend a barbecue and fundraiser in Cheyenne, Wyoming, where an unnamed gay couple is slated to be burned at the stake.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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